For the third straight year South African President, Jacob Zuma, has been voted by the Sunday Time’s readers as South Africa’s biggest moron.
From guiding South Africa deeper into an economic and cultural abyss, to making the asinine decision of taking on a 5th wife, Zuma’s had quite a stupefying year.
Quite oddly, Afrikaans singer songwriter, Steve Hofmeyr, was voted in second by the paper’s readership.
Although the man does come across a tad thick and seems to exploit his sacchariny ‘volkish’ charm too often for my tastes, I can think of dozens more people in the ANC and EFF-both black and white, far more worthy of a second place finish, than the inoccuous singer.
Here are lowlife Zuma’s highlights from year’s past, followed by the Time’s Mampara of the Year Time’s article. (below corruption timeline)
June 2, 2005 – A South African court finds businessman Schabir Shaik guilty of bribing Zuma with over $180,000 between 1995 and 2002.
June 14, 2005 – President Thabo Mbeki fires Zuma over his alleged involvement in the Shaik bribery scandal.
December 6, 2005 – Charged with raping a young female family friend in his home; he claims the sex was consensual. He is acquitted of the rape May 8, 2006. Zuma knew the woman was HIV positive and drew criticism from health advocates when he said he showered afterward to “minimize the risk of contracting the disease.”
September 5, 2006 – Brought to trial and charged with corruption for allegedly accepting bribes from French arms company Thint Holdings.
September 20, 2006 – The corruption charges are dismissed by the court after numerous extensions by prosecutors to build the state’s case.
December 18, 2007-present – President of the African National Congress
December 28, 2007 – New corruption charges are brought against Zuma, along with counts of racketeering and money laundering.
September 12, 2008 – Corruption charges against Zuma are tossed out by the court a second time, this time on procedural grounds. Prosecutors announce an appeal on September 17.
January 12, 2009 – The Supreme Court of Appeal overturns the lower court ruling that threw out corruption charges against Zuma, stating that the ruling was riddled with errors. This new ruling means that the National Prosecuting Authority can press new charges against Zuma, pertaining to bribes he allegedly accepted from the French arms company Thint Holdings.
April 6, 2009 – Prosecutors drop all corruption charges against Zuma.
April 26, 2009 – The African National Congress wins a majority of votes in South African elections, ensuring that its leader, Jacob Zuma, will be the country’s next president.
May 9, 2009 – Inaugurated as President of South Africa.
February 2010 – Zuma admits to fathering a child out of wedlock with Sonono Khoza, daughter of the head of South Africa’s World Cup organizing committee.
December 2010 – Zuma files a $700,000 defamation lawsuit over a 2008 political cartoon which portrays him raping a female figure symbolizing justice.
March 20, 2012 – The Supreme Court of Appeal rules that the Democratic Alliance (an opposition party) can challenge a previous court’s decision to drop corruption charges against Zuma.
August 22, 2012 – In an interview with a national government television station, Zuma controversially says, “I know that people today think being single is nice. It’s actually not right. That’s a distortion. You’ve got to have kids. Kids are important to a woman because they actually give an extra training to a woman, to be a mother.”
December 18, 2012 – Zuma is reelected as head of the ANC. Cyril Ramaphosa is elected as his deputy.
December 26, 2012 – At a rally, Zuma tells supporters that owning a dog as a pet is part of “white culture” and not African culture. He later clarified those comments through his spokesman saying he was trying to warn people against loving pets more than humans.
March 19, 2014 – Zuma has benefited from a $23 million dollar publicly-funded presidential security upgrade to his private residence, according to a report issued by the public protector of South Africa. Additions include a visitor center, swimming pool, amphitheater and chicken coop.
May 7, 2014 – The African National Congress wins a majority of votes in South African elections, ensuring that incumbent Jacob Zuma, will retain the presidency.
Original Times Story
Jacob Zuma voted Mampara of the Year for third year in a row
True to his nature, the man from Nkandla left his rival mamparas wondering whether they were running against a man or a ma(mpara)gician.
He fought off formidable competition to win the title in a year in which mamparas of all shades and stripes boldly made their cases for notoriety.
Even the deserving muppet Steve Hofmeyr, the self-appointed leader of the volk who seems more interested in selling records than carrying the can for Afrikaners, could only manage second place.
He had his backers, though. One reader, Norma Dunjwa November, pleaded for him: “Steve Hofmeyr. He lost a case to a puppet.”
And on any other day that could be a supreme mampara moment. Who else but a total mampara takes a dummy to court – and loses?
But the Dancing One is known for his fighting spirit and never-say-die attitude – he is still running away from fraud and corruption charges first laid against him in 2005.
Despite the late challenges made by Hofmeyr and another close runner-up, Ellen “the dog ate my qualifications” Tshabalala, the former SABC chairwoman, Hogarth is convinced our singing president would have remained the undisputed champion even if the race had been longer.
With his hat-trick of wins (2012-14), Zuma stays ahead of Julius Malema, who has won the award twice, in 2009 and 2011. Only COPE, winner in 2010, has briefly broken the stranglehold these two have had on the award in recent years.
The Sunday Times itself received a few nominations for the award, and Eskom also earned a well-deserved mention or two.
This is what some readers had to say:
Jillian Alcott: “It goes without saying – Namba Waan (read No1).”
David Dennis Pape: “If you don’t give it to Zuma, he will rig the votes in his favour and get it anyway.”
Lerato Mosomane: “Zuma takes the award.”
Barbara Buys: “Since the fish rots from the head, it has to be Zuma.”
Motswala Mokwebo: “If I had to choose one, it should be No1, but I think [Tshabalala] should jointly win.”
Mzimasi Mahlungulu: “Zuma goes with it every year.”
Come to think of it, the Giggling One was really the only possible choice.
Just this week, in his year-end interview with the SABC, the Karaoke King had the audacity to tell us that all the investigations and subsequent reports on Nkandla had cleared him of any wrongdoing.